we all have flaws mine is that I look better than all of u
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I need volunteers
For what?
I’m going to the airport wearing an expensive black dress with a diamond necklace and glasses of champagne in both hands, waltzing through, casually reminding my chauffeur to haul my bags in for me. I need 4-5 attractive people (race+gender doesn’t matter) wearing clothes that are not better than mine, and cool sunglasses begging me not to leave, on their knees, barely grasping my dress because they want me to stay but at the same time they know the dress is worth more than anything they can ever afford. Turning around ever so slightly and almost spilling, but not quite all the way there, my champagne, I’ll laugh and say quite loudly, “darlings I have to visit my ACTUAL husband!”
wow you have very nice looking hands…… i bet they would look even better wrapped up in mine…..
or around my dick
or clasped together in prayer askin god to help you see the error of your ways
sending your kid to catholic school is the easiest way to guarantee your kid will not be catholic
Fun story: a friend of mine discovered she was bi-sexual and into bdsm at a catholic school after a nun put her over her knee and spanked her. Christians just can’t seem to get anything right.
Lmfao my fave post now has an even better comment
ITS A RELIC FROM THE PAST
PRESERVE THIS
i hate it when people shit on others’ excitement. like “hey! i got a new computer!” “that’s nice, but mine’s better” or “hey! i finally killed that guy that’s been bugging me for weeks!” “what the fuck i’m calling the police” unbelievable.
my 4-year-old niece is in that “splattering colors all over the paper” stage of making art. i showed her a piece by Jackson Pollock and told her “this person is really famous, and he made art kind of like you!” but she just looked disinterested and told me “mine has prettier colors.” get wrecked, Jackson Pollock
*phone rings*
“hello”
“hi! is your refrigerator running”
“yes it is”
“mine is as well! can’t wait to see your fridge at the race tomorrow”
TODAY IN CLASS THIS CHICK WAS PASSING OUT A PACKET AND SHE JUST THREW MINE AT ME AND I SAID “Yo don’t fuckin throw that shit at me like I’m a stripper.” AND EVERYONE AROUND ME JUST STARED AT ME AND I REALIZED THAT ITS BC THATS THE FIRST THING IVE SAID IN CLASS SINCE I CAME TO THIS SCHOOL AND JFC
Reblog if you don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend.
That’s a lot of notes. Let’s all date each other. Everyone get into groups of two.
Let’s do the math then.
with 841,518 reblogs that would be 420,279 couples.
cAN I GET MINE IN PINK PLS
everytime I see this post it has an even amount of notes, I guess I’m just doomed to be alone forever
yoongstereo
